shyConfessiOns

i juz wan to tell my feelings .. k.. u kno.. i love u. alot! im always crazy over u.. i hav u on my mind all the time. i hope i wud not hurt u wen u read this.. anyway i doubt it. coz u wont care anyway..

now i have to let u go.. i have to giv up on u.. everything i hav ever wanted.. all my desires.. i have to let go. and my reason? coz its no point in liking u. u wud onli hurt me again n again. whether u realize it or not.. whether u care or not. u will..

do u kno? i have wasted lots of tears on u. i kno i dun hav to hang on 2 u. but i loved u so much! maybe its a crush. if it is, it wud be a HUGE crush. haha. but there is a reason y i decided to let go of u. its God. He’s my reason. kno y>

coz He wants me, all of us to put Him first in everything. since last year.. i always put u first. u kno.. my dreams.. everything.. i dunno how to explain it. there is no word for it.. i really loved my dreams. i have this really strong desire for something but i dont know wat it is.. but i called it… my dreams..

its really important to me! i really put it first b4 God! i know its wrong.. but.. i dunno.. i really dunno. its confusing.last time.. i wud call it ..a love story. now? wen i come to think of it.. i dont know what it is anymore!! i cant describe it, i cant imagine it. its really nice n beautiful n.. well.. the word i wud use to describe it is… my dreams. its like the sky. i love the sky alot! it gives me a wonderful feeling.. like flying.. like dancing on air.. the way the clouds form in the beautiful sky… its so so sooooo beautiful!! but i rarely find ppl who can see this beautiful thing wih me. ppl wud say.. "ceh sky. wat so special??" but for me.. its something magical.. something beyond wat we can imagine. its something out there.. like in heaven. like God.

until now.. i find it hard to describe my feelings. wat i like.. wat i love.. wat kind of feeling i have.. but its okay. God understands me righ? i wud love to share this feeling wid God. my best friend.

im not sure.. but i think this is the third time God tells me to give up on my desires.. which i dunno wat it is. my dreamzs. last year.. in the camp(my best fren) God alr told me in his own way.. to let go. coz it will onli hurt me in the end. there was where i cried alot. especially on d last day of the camp.

with the help of God, i suceeded. but now i did it again. i put u first again! and this is the second time this year im facing this situation! u kno the song.. "lord i will bow to u.. to no other Gods.. but u alone…" that song really reminded me of wat God told me. n then there r many other verses frm the bible that said, "fix your eyes on the things thats unseen, rather than wats seen. for wat is seen is temporary, but wat is unseen is eternal." and "those who stand firm in their purposes n put their trust in Him will have peace" n u kno wat? my purpose is GOD obviously!!

so.. those are jus some of the ways God tells me stuff. He has His own ways to do things. so now.. i hav to let u go. i dowan to be hurt anymore. i will put God first nomatter how hard it is n i will let go with a joyful heart! some ppl will say.. we can never understand wat a girl wants or feels. but i have written here everyting i feel.. so.. i really hope u wud understand this.

n before i giv up.. i wan u to know.. u r loved. n i love u.

thats all. Jesus loves u.

HEY U SICK PEOPLE!!! i mean those who r really sick ok. not those hu r sick in da brain.. ok.. so dun get me wrong. ok! hey everybodi! y r u still suffering? u don hav to u kno! i got one way to help u! guranteed will help u! u wanna kno wats the way? ok! i tell u. JESUS!! really! He is the one and onli way! so come to him!

ok .. u mite b thinking .. oh! the Jesus thingy… christians holy halelujah stuff. boring! NO!! its not boring once u really get to kno him! and u christians out there!!! don juz go on wid life like a dum head!! Go n do God’s work!! tell the world wat he did for u! tell everyone about His great love!! GO!!! don ignore Him okay!! He is really real! He exists okay!! don make it like u dunno! ever experienced His touch? no? ya? don worry!! as long as u keep seeking Him.. n don gif up.. He will surely touch u wid his love again n again! its so nice to kno Him.. theres a wonderful feeling.. like u wanna soar high up in the sky.. like u wanna dance! like u wan to run against the wind! its so nice to be in His presence!! He will grant peace to those who r worried of something.. or afraid of something.. or even wen u r too stressed up. u can sleep in peace at last! thank u Jesus! He is so wonderful n merciful that he grants u watever u ask 4 in HIS name!! "In JESUS name, be healed!!" and u r healed!- in JESUS name!!

so.. u wan to be healed right? if u really donno how to pray.. just close ur eyes.. and say these few words..  "Dear Jesus.. i dont know what i can do anymore to feel better.. but i know that i really need help. and maybe.. i can find the help i need.. in U. if U r real.. please heal me.. AMEN." 

and don say it for fun! say it sincerely to the Lord. because u really need Him.. u need some help.. u want to find reason in life! and remember.. He always listens! don harden ur heart.. please.. juz listen to me this once in your life? its the most important question in your life!! please trust in God.. He is the one and onli TRUE GOD who loves us so much that he died for us! jus so that we dun need to suffer in the future! now! we DONT NEED TO SUFFER!! hear that? thats good news right? but u gotta believe it.

anyway… ways the problem to try? jus try talking to Him! and once u do.. believe it or not… GREAT things start to happen.. its a matter whether u see it or not. some ppl choose to ignore it.. but i wud like to see those GREAT things happening! and i kno.. He is REAL. u don wanna miss this GREAT CHANCE to kno Him.. the one n ONLY true GOD!! pls don feel bad or offended. its the truth n i don want u to miss this truth. its really, really important. the choice of ur life!

so? wanna try it? say this:

Dear Jesus.. i dun really know YOU but.. i would like to know more about U. Please show me.. if U r really real.. please forgive me for the wrong things i did.. im sorry.. and now i want to find the truth. so help me.. Jesus.

AMEN.

don worry… u can say it anyhow.. u can kneel on your knees if u want to.. or not.. u can just sit down n close your eyes. otherwise.. like me.. u can pray while lying down or maybe even when u r walking somewhere. anything is ok. as longs as u talk to Him. He is waiting 4 u. jus talk to Him! it wont hurt to try!!

so have fun knowing Him.. and if u need any help.. ask Him! or not u can message me in my friendster profile. or maybe.. post a comment. God Bless U!

~MeloDy~