shyConfessiOns

hey,

things changed alot nowadays.. im juz getting used to it.

my thinking changed alot.. compared to last year. really..

i learned alot too.. abt God.. abt life. abt other stuff.

[N] now.. when i think back.. i wonder what was i chasing last year?? dreams? thinking of last year.. i feel like im under a bondage. juz thinking of 2006 makes me feel heavy alr. why was i so stupid? wat is this so called dreamz?

does it even matter in my life? i guess i was TOO influenced by the world. i was too into it.. too obsessed. now .. im not under that bondage anymore.2006? its gone.. whats left are only memories of 2006. some good.. some bad.

but who cares?? its gone anyway.

school juz started.. i was doing alot of thinking lately.. actually.. i always think. in fact its all the time. haha.. not only lately.. its everyday. i was thinking of life. what else? hmm.. life.. life.. n life. haii..

wondering whats happening around me. everythings a mystery. looking at others.. wondering how wud i be if i were to be them.. how other’s life are.. how ppl think.. why others are so succesful.. n i also dreamed alot. not only nite z z Z dreams.. day dreaming especially. i dunno wat i dream abt.. mostly i dream of the past. not THE past.. my past. my memories.. childhood memories..

the feeling is weird. dreamy.. peaceful, somehow a little feeling of butterflies in my tummy.. feels like.. im in a place , a really beautiful place.. with music..sweet voices singing.. its really peaceful n at the same time really mysterious…  n i was there..since forever.. n will be there.. forever. forever?  what happens then? it goes on? and then? i mean.. forever??

one of the places i always dream of is like this.. itsa floating ground.. part of a mountain maybe.. green grass.. wind.. n there was a windmill.. n it has bars.. on one side of the ground.. to hold so u wont fall off the cliff.. there are also a few of others there. we are juz standing there.. facing the wind.. listening to the strange n mysterious song.. it seems like its going on 4 like.. forever. like i’ve floated away frm my room on earth. ahah.. i dunno whether its gud or bad.  i dream of this when i hear music.  only certain songs.

its really scary.. n also exciting. like there’s something out there in the world.. in a diff dimension maybe.. that we hav not seen or heard or even think of B4! n as u kno.. my imaginations are crazy. its dif frm others.. its a gift frm God. its wild! my imaginations can bring me so far.. i mean really far. its weird. haha

so thats wat i tried telling ppl.. but cant find words that can describe it. its weird. ahaha..

school school.. haiih.. its fun.. n exciting. but its stressful! being a prefect is not that easy! its harder than u think! especially being a junior! stress frm everywhere! thats y most of us.. the juniors hav no confidence in our duty. well.. thats my opinion. we are afraid to face our mistakes so we try to be careful.. n do things slowly.. depending mose on seniors.they kno better anyway.. but that thinking muz change! i hav 2 stand up wif confidene n do my duty! i soooooooo want to pass! i dowan to be sacked n NO! i wont quit! id rather be sacked than quit. i wont quit in something i want so badly n tried so hard in!

i want to pass! and i WILL. God will help me. i kno.. juz trust in Him rite? ^^ i love Jesus.

ok la. tired ad.. wan to stop ad. so.. if u need help.. in some trouble or having problems.. no one to turn to? God is always there. juz try to find Him. trying wont hurt.. call Him.. in your heart. God.. if u’re real.. pls help me. its that simple. really.. God will never reject u. ever.

Jesus loves u. bye