erm…
i quitted. T.T
hmm.. kinda saddening.. miz being a prefect SO much.. but i dont regret. both sides has its own benefits… and im happy with my choice. i am. =)
hmm… chinese new yrs coming.. its tomorrow actually. haha..
lots of changes this year. haha.. read bak my old post.. like.. "LAME MAN…n so PRASAN!" lol.. haha.. wad to do? its a part of me. haha.. i cant despise myself. or can i? i shudn’t la. haha
anyway.. this year.. im not a prefect anymore.. prefect friends (most) treat me one kind.. like im never their fren.. wads the diff? blue or not? haiz.. i dunno.. i guess they kinda like look down on quitters -me. i actually said out loud" i wont ever quit my big family of blues!" but look at me now. haha.. i change my mind easily. too easily. haha.. omg.. so many haha’s in my post. lol. haha. see!
hahahah… ok la. oh!n i did very bad things!! well im sure everyone has done bad stuff in their lives.. but i feel SO bad. bringing disgrace on my GOD’s name.. (*sorry.. God) anyway.. my STo*pid mouth la. dun think b4 open wan. hav to learn to control!
n my sto*pid thoughts! ugh! wad’s my brain’s prob? think think think! like a small voice in my mind always there to menghasut me!
"no! he cant say that to u! " "He’s not that good.. are u sure he’s a nice person?" "dun believe what it says!" "dont talk to him" "he looks down on you" "you’re dumb. useless!" "nobody cares for u" "everybody says you are useless!" "God doesnt want you"
"You’re sinning again!" "I have a black heart!" "im evil. i dont deserve God"
SO NOISY! can u pls stop shouting in my head! haha.. hate that small voice! i actually believed those voices. naive me. but im not stupid. im not useless. i know im NOT! God wants me. he loves me. dont deceive me anymore. it wont work. -.-
haha.. haii.. im really sorry u know.. for all i’ve done. i BACKSTABBED a good friend who loves me! oh goodness…
i was crazy. i isulted my neighbour when God said"love your neighbour as yourself!" im sorry ..backstabbed friend.. sorry.. neighbour.. sorry misunderstood friend. /.\ im sorry.
anyway.. i’l try not to giv my heart to anyone. my age not easy! haha.. plus everyone arnd u has bf/gf.. peerpressure. haha… i’l hold on to my prinsip! no "love love stuff" until im after school. after everyone’s hormone thingy is stabled..
lol. wad la. y bold wan?! haha…
oh ya! new news.
i finally got close to a friend whom she n i seemed to hav a gap in between. im so happy. =) i love her.. i love THE EYE. i love my class. i love my school.. i love my cf.. i love my myf… never missed a meeting on purpose. ^^ muzsupport support! pray pray pray! recrute recrute!
haha.. trying to help some friends who’s kinda like.. mixed up in their life. haha.. keep me in your prayers fellow friends.. ^^ i’l keep u in mine. =D
oh ya. keep a distance when u’re wid me, males. hahaha…. i don wanna "fall in love" wid anyone. XD problem onii.. this sounds lame. lol… funny.
anyway i found some new very good friends. n will uphold them always. love them, miss them! haha.. kk.. byebye
will stop by nex time. =) (doubt it will be soon though)
haha.. bye. ++
+h@ppyffieD+
